An average person

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I don’t want to be like this but I am too afraid to change this individual I’ve become.
So I put my left foot in my pants, then my right.
Put on the greyish shirt I can find.
It feels secure.
I live a grey life.
Sometimes it goes blurry slowly fading away.
Go to work.
Continuing living this mudaine life l live.
In denial to accept it is true.
Get angry at no apparent reason.
Bottle it in because everyone has issues.
No need to burden those I love.
Keep going toward life.
In a tunnle that spins. I can’t see the end.
What I see is darkness with an occasional spark of light.
Till I can’t go no longer go forward.
I explode or I find a device that destroys me.
Or turn to the holey book.
Live the rest of my life In a prayer.
Knowing happiness is in another life.
But that won’t suit me.
As l mentioned earlier I am too afraid to change.

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Cursed by Birth

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I’m cursed by birth, don’t you see?

I never asked to be me.

I never asked to be birthed.

I never asked to grow.

I never asked to die.

It doesn’t matter, because once you’re born you’re destined for death.

That’s the only consistency I see.

I didn’t ask for any of this, neither did you.

It’s kind of sad to see what this world has become; by things that start like the choice of  birthing.

A woman has a right to choose, but the baby has no say.

And anyway it doesn’t matter if it’s alive or aborted with no choice.

We do have a choice within this realm of life we see.

We can have the choice to die by our hands, or by other hands.

But I wouldn’t consider that a choice.

We could better ourselves overtime, and kill the things we hate about ourselves.

Just being in a new way a sense of a new life.

Or we could find some meaning  into this life.

Or we can just sell plants in the gardening section at Home Depot. If there isn’t a point in life why should we overthink it?

For some reason…

For some people like myself I like to self deprecate.

I don’t really mind doing it; it has a sense of a settling feeling.

Maybe it’s because I don’t know who I am.

Just like I don’t know the meaning behind this poem.

People Watching

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Sad faces surpass me.

They go on a plane to who knows where?

Mostly vendors.

I have grown to see a lot of them.

Always travelling.

Sounds fun.

But that light.

That light you can see in someones eyes..?

Has been blown out.

There is not enough free miles to rekindle that light.

Always in the air.

Thousands of miles away from family they grow old.

And distant.

Till they don’t even know who they live with  anymore.

Money controls some people’s actions.

Later down the road…

They get laid off.

All the whiskey in the world won’t fix this mistake.

Villans.

Thoughts pondered in the middle of the night.
I think the older we get the more lose our actions or thoughts become.
Things you could never imagine doing two years ago you are doing them now.
Something you thought was completely wrong then.  Is more seemingly okay now.
This continues on the longer you live…
Well…

Until you do not know who you are anymore.
And I think that’s why Harvey Dent’s quote hits us so hard.
It’s relatable.
You Either Die A Hero, Or You Live Long Enough To See Yourself Become The Villain

And we all see this is some way or another in  middle of the night. Alone. With our thoughts.

Created Security

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I put up a wall to feel safe.

Four corners built with bricks.

Guaranteed to weather a storm.

An earthquake emerged once.

No crack in this foundation.

As time past this space I created started to close in.

The oxygen is running out.

I scream for help…

But alas no-one can hear me.

I look for a door.

There isn’t one.

I didn’t make one.

The wall didn’t protect me from anything.

It made it worse.

Because the danger was never the outside world it was me.