PSA

I finally did it guys!

I finally killed myself…

I know just as we all expected.

I hung myself…

Drowned myself in tears of sorrow.

Let pain take me till I could not bear it anymore.

I got so far lost in darkness, I thought I would never find a light.

It was awfully lonely guys.

Lying in bed trying to find a reason to live, or just even get up.

What is the point anymore?

Trick question, there was no point in my life.

Just that when we fellow individuals died that was it.

Poof.

Nothing happened other than your grotesque corpse rotting in the ground.

But you know what?

Something changed in me that night I died.

My heart grew three times in size.

I gained Something to Believe.

A religion if you would like to call it.

That’s what I called it at first too.

I needed something more than nothing.

So I gave in to a relationship with a higher power.

And no I do not mean with a politician.

It was hard at first to trust something I couldn’t believe.

That’s where faith came in.

And still comes in.

Life is crazy and it’s hard to know what’s real or a delusion.

Nothing happened over night.

Yet when I accepted I felt peace.

I still do not know God that well.

Yet it is okay because a relationship takes time.

Effort it takes effort.

I am not telling you to “get right.”

Or any other ridiculous reasonings to get saved.

For me it had to be my own choice.

At the right timing.

But it really did save my life.

So I share this story.

“I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.” Mathew 28:20

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