Soul Searching

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I’m searching for pieces of my soul.

I lost them over time.

I did not want my soul for a time being.

I did not like the sad feelings it felt.

That hole in my chest was okay.

I could deal with that.

But you see.

When your soul is missing, your feelings of happiness, joy, regret, sadness, and etc are gone also.

The things that use to matter do not anymore.

You feel numb.

It’s a lonely feeling.

Something is just not right and that’s what you feel.

I’m on a mission to find the rest of my soul.

I say a prayer

“Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy Kingdom come, Thy will”…

I stop.

I don’t believe in this.

So I meditate.

In a field of hay and one tree I lay.

Breathe in and out long breaths.

I feel the wind in my safe place.

I put a hand on my chest.

No beat echoes back.

Maybe there is something wrong with me.

That maybe it’s really there and we are distant relatives.

I throw a message in a bottle into my heart.

Hoping it reaches my soul in enough time.

Before it’s to late and this blackhole consumes me.

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