This human is vulnerable.
Someone wrecked the wall and with the knife they had penetrated my heart.
Circulation is rationed at the moment.
With the lack of blood in the brain my amygdala is misfiring leaving me emotionally unstable.
I am not a danger to others including myself.
This is what it feels like.
If I had to describe it at this particular moment.
Keeping in mind the circumstances are unstable.
This is what it’s like.
I wake up in a dark alley.
I have the mentality of an eight-year-old.
It’s completely quiet.
That scares me.
I start walking.
The wind blows.
The noise terrifies me.
I’m in tears.
I walk for hours.
But I am nowhere close to being home.
I don’t know where I am.
I am scared.
I am walking barefoot.
I don’t know why, don’t ask me.
I finally make it home.
I see my parents but they ignore me.
I start yelling, “Mom Dad I’m home.”
I reach for a hug but they do not reach back.
They don’t even acknowledge my presence.
I beg and plead and throw a tantrum.
Silence Echoes back in the distance.
After some time I come to figure out I’m a big girl who does not need protection from them. Feeling in uncomfortable pressure of it’s okay.
Some lie I try to stomach.
I blink my eyes and I returned back into the dark alley with an 8 year old mentality.
And then nightmare starts all over in the dark alley.
The estimation of the wall being rebuilt is currently up for bid as we speak.