Thoughts pondered in the middle of the night.
I think the older we get the more lose our actions or thoughts become.
Things you could never imagine doing two years ago you are doing them now.
Something you thought was completely wrong then. Is more seemingly okay now.
This continues on the longer you live…
Until you do not know who you are anymore.
And I think that’s why Harvey Dent’s quote hits us so hard.
“You Either Die A Hero, Or You Live Long Enough To See Yourself Become The Villain“
And we all see this is some way or another in middle of the night. Alone. With our thoughts.
I put up a wall to feel safe.
Four corners built with bricks.
Guaranteed to weather a storm.
An earthquake emerged once.
No crack in this foundation.
As time past this space I created started to close in.
The oxygen is running out.
I scream for help…
But alas no-one can hear me.
I look for a door.
There isn’t one.
I didn’t make one.
The wall didn’t protect me from anything.
It made it worse.
Because the danger was never the outside world it was me.
There’s a reason inside all of us other than the inevitable death that is causing us to die slowly.
We can’t shake it because if we did we would lose apart of us that we found within that reason.
The hardest thing I ever did is love.
Not in love but the fact of love in general.
For the good the bad you love them no matter what.
All those painful choices they make it affects you.
They hurt you hurt.
They are happy you are happy.
They struggle you struggle.
It’s easier to become numb than to love.
Because we know in the end being numb hurts less than the emotional rollercoaster you are on loving someone.